Our Story

Our adoption story starts long ago.  At one level, Michelle has wanted to adopt a child for many years.  Even when we were “just friends” and all through our dating years, we talked about the idea of adoption.  Looking back on these early ideas and conversations, it is clear to us now that God was at work in our hearts and lives even then, paving the way for this exciting, scary, and joyful time.  In this way, our adoption story is more than a decade in the making.

But this story goes back much further than decades because our story is really a participation in what God is already up to in the world.  Through Christ, God reached out to humankind with a delighted, enthusiastic, unconditional “yes!”  God has adopted all of us who are in Christ.  God has claimed us as God’s children and given us a place in God’s family.  That is the heart of the gospel and it is the heart of our adoption story.  All of God’s people are invited to participate in this radical love.  We can all participate in this love when we show love to others and when we show mercy to those who least expect or deserve it.  Now we find ourselves called to participate in this sort of love in a very particular way:  Welcoming a child into our lives, our family, our community, and our hearts.

It is our joy to invite you into this story, as well! 

Our adoption will be a domestic infant adoption, meaning a child age 6 months or younger from the United States.  It is our hope to be matched with our child less than one year after going active with our adoption agency.  Prior to going active, there are numerous forms to fill out, numerous fees and expenses (background checks, FBI clearances, etc.)  There is also an extensive (and expensive) adoption home study that we have to have completed before we can go active.  During this time prior to activation, we are also working on a profile that will be shown to prospective birthparents to help make a positive match possible.  The whole thing is kind of like a job interview, screening process, and mortgage application all rolled into one.  We are hard at work during this pre-activation phase so that once we go active, we can bring our child home as soon as possible.

This story isn’t just about us and it’s not just about a child who needs a family.  It is also a story about a birthmother and birthfather longing for a safe and loving home and life for their child.  As we looked into different adoption options, it became clear to us that the ongoing care for and health of the birthparents of our adopted child was a vital concern.  Though we feel called to adopt, we do not want the birthparents of our adopted child to be left doubting the decision to terminate their parental rights.  We do not want them to be left in worse shape than before the adoption.  We are working with an agency that has a good track record of providing care for all parties both during and after the adoption.  They also help facilitate positive and healthy contact between us, our child, and the birthparents during and after the adoption process.  We hope for an open or semi-open adoption—that is, we hope to exchange medical and genetic information, photos, letters, and phone calls.  In this way, we hope to lead to a greater sense of peace and wholeness to everyone involved.

Unfortunately, working with a reputable nationwide adoption organization is expensive.  In fact, adoption in general is expensive.  This is a surprise to many people.  It was certainly a surprise to us as we started looking into the various adoption options!  Adoption through the state Department of Social Services is “free” to those adopting a child, but these adoptions still cost a similar amount of money.  In this case, the government subsidizes the adoption costs, so our tax dollars fund these adoptions.  Also, many children adopted through DSS have special needs (physically, emotionally, and/or behaviorally) that require lots of ongoing care and costs.  Even “free” adoptions still carry a cost.

The average cost of an adoption ranges from $20,000 to $40,000.   If you think about it, it probably costs many families a similar amount of money for prenatal care and to deliver a biological child, although these costs are covered by insurance.  Unfortunately, health insurance will not pay for an adoption.  Some costs associated with an adoption include legal fees, counseling and training for the adoptive parents, counseling and services for the birthparent(s), prenatal care, labor and delivery care, living expenses for the birthparent(s) during pregnancy, travel costs for adoptive parents to get to where the child is, background checks and clearances, home study costs, and administrative and marketing costs for the adoption agency or attorney. 

Needless to say, we (like most people) don’t have a spare $40,000 sitting around to make all of this possible.  In researching our options, we wanted to work with a reputable agency with a good track record for caring for all parties involved during and after the adoption.  We also wanted to work with a national agency with the ability to make adoptions happen across state lines.  By opening up to a nationwide scale, our wait time for our child should be less than a year instead of 3-4 years locally.  Like many aspects of life, with adoption agencies, you get what you pay for.  We knew going into this process that the financial component would be the greatest challenge to us.  Yet we know that we are not alone in this—God has not led us this far into the process to let our adoption fail due to a lack of funds.  We have scaled back our own expenses and tightened up our finances considerably.  We will be holding a yard sale and finding other money making opportunities. 

Again, we know that we are not alone.  Many African cultures have proverbs that speak to the upbringing of a child.  These proverbs are often amalgamated into the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child.”  Though its origin is debatable, the truth behind this proverb rings true.  It will take a village—our support system and friendship network and church family—to help form and shape our child.  In the same way, we are counting on the support, generosity, and help of our little village to help bring our child into our family.  This includes you! 

We know that God has blessed our lives with wonderful people like you.  We also know that God has blessed you and it is our humble joy to invite you to be a part of our little village; to be part of our adoption story and a part of helping us fulfill this calling that God has placed on our lives.  Please consider contributing monetarily to our adoption process.  You can donate through the “Donate” button on this page.  We also welcome your prayers, your questions, and your love. 

-Andrew