First, know that we signed an agreement with our attorney that we would not discuss a match on social media until the adoption was finalized. Our lawyer asks this of clients because we all know social media can throw a wrench into situations when not used properly.
In early February, Andrew and I received the call of our dreams. We had been matched with a birth mother! Can you believe it? We weren't even on the wait list yet because we were still fundraising, but there was a great need and we were a great fit. The baby was to be born within weeks! We were asked not to post this on social media at the time, so blogging became very difficult.
We scrambled! The nursery essentials were taken care of. The car was packed and ready to travel at a moment's notice. Finances were done (due to the timing, we actually didn't need as much to cover prenatal care, etc.). Everything was looking GREAT!
We waited. And waited. And waited. The birth mother changed her mind. I can't imagine the tumultuous emotional journey this has been for her too. But we are left with so many unanswered questions. We have grieved. Oh have we ever grieved. We had to wrap our heads around the idea of being parents immediately. And then we weren't. We made room in our home and our hearts for THIS baby, and then it's gone. We may never know what happened.
When this sort of situation occurs in an adoption, it's called a "disruption." All along, we knew the "d" word was a possibility. That doesn't make it hurt any less. They say the pain of a disrupted adoption is similar to a miscarriage. It is a real loss with real grief that must be lived through.
I am so grateful for the wonderful support network that we are surrounded by. Getting through this was so much better with beloved friends and family by my side.
Following the disruption, we were put on a wait list for Baby I. This story is to be continued (with a happy ending!)...
